INTERESTING "STUFF" FOR YOU

You know you're living in 2004 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You go home after a long day at work, and you still answer the phone in a businesslike manner.
7. You make phone calls from home, and accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies ( Hope we're not describing your lender rep).
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60 years) of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it.
15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to send this message.
19. But you are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
20. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a #9 on this list.
21. You get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and you check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

QUOTES OF INTEREST

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue . . . .

"No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. ~George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea ... Visit people only once a year. ~Victor Borge (If only difficult students practiced this courtesy)

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. ~Alex Levine (The new VASFAA drink!?)

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. ~Bob Hope

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. ~Will Rogers

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty..... But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. ~Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. ~Billy Crystal

Humor in the Financial Aid Office

A young man came into the office one day and placed a rolled up paper on my desk, saying he was an independent student and had the papers to
prove it. The “paper” turned out to be a sonogram of his unborn child.

Carolyn Mabee, Iowa State University

But Did He List the Employer’ s Phone Number?

When I started in student aid, it was my job to proofread student loan applications . Most errors seemed to occur in the reference sections, where students would omit street addresses or forget to list telephone numbers. I was greatly amused, however , by a young man who listed his father as one of his references. On the first line, he had neatly written his father’s name, Rev. John Doe. On the line requesting his father’s employer, he had simply written, “God.”

Roberta Johnson, Iowa State University

Okay, You’re Not Too Fat…

I once worked in an aid office where a significant number of our students were active-duty military. While talking on the phone with one of these students, our counselor wrote the student’s name and address on the front of the envelope, then jotted herself abbreviated notes on the back of the envelope as a reminder of what to enclose . He needed a military untaxed income form (“mil”), two financial aid transcript forms (“2 fat”) and a promissory note (“loan”). About a week later , the counselor received a call from the president’s office. Apparently, the student had filed a complaint against the counselor for calling him “militant, too fat, and a loon!”   (John reports that the student was actually very understanding when he learned the full explanation.)

John H. Middendorf, Pennsylvania Higher Education Assistance Agency

Editor's Note: I Remember It Well! This happened on my watch at The University of Maryland University College. It is retold here by one of my former staff members.

Borrowed from Colleagues Around the Country